Book3:WereMyDreamIs (第183/327页)

kagain.”

    Thesewordssoundedsadandpealsohadatantalizingtouchofprovokinglust.Dimitriwasnotapyboytypeoverlyiedinsex.Orary,heseemedtobemorelikeaic.Charinacouldnotmakeheadortailsoutofthetruemeaningofthosewords,sosheshruggedanddecidedtoputitasideforthemoment,thinkingthereletimetoaskhimaboutitterwhenshehadace.Shetiltedhergsstofinishoffherwhiskey.

    Itwasstillsummer,butteatnightthewindwasstillrathercoldbythesideoftheke.PerhapsCharina’sclothingwastoothin;sheshiveredinthecooirandfinishedherdrinkinaquaff.PattingMaureenlightlyontheheadshesaid,“Iamgoingtosleep.Whataboutyou?”Maureenbarkedasiftelliosleepinpeaditwouldstandguardduringthenight.Charinasmiled,pattedMaureenontheheadandstoodup.Dimitrihadnotreallybeenasleep.Heonlypreteosnore,whileiyhisearswereattuheversationofthebeauties.HeheardChariingintohersleepingbagahingaroundturnedquiet.Heopenedoneeye,wiMaureencheekilyandwavedtoit.ThelittledoguoodandcurleditselfintothecrookofDimitri’sarms.ItwasonlythenthatDimitrilethimselfslipintodreamnd.

    ThedreamndDimitriehistimewasquitedifferent.Hisformerdreamswereutterlyillusoryanduheirtents,unsubstantiaerous,weremostlyinunectedbitsandpiecesimpossibletopiecetogetherintoalogicalwhole.Thistimeitwasquitedifferent.Heerfectlyawarethathehadenteredareandstableworld.Everythingaroundhimreflectedagoldenbrilliancebrightasthesunbutwasnothurtfultohiseyes.herwasthesunlightthatshoneonhisbodytoohottobear.Infactitfeltwarmandweling.Hisbodywassurroundedinacircleoflight.Dimitriwaoknowwherehewasanddecidedtofindhisbearing.Helookedaroundanddiscoveredthatthesunlightdidnotcastashadowofhisbodyontheground.Ifthatwasso,wherehadhisbodygoo?Haditdiedandbeeroyed?Wasthisaernalstateofmind?Dimitriwasbothsadandhappyattheturs.Hewassadthatthisfleshbodyofhisthathadbeenwithhimforsomanyyears,thoughdisabledandsicklyandaburdenonhimattimes,wasdearertohimthanadirectretive.Hefeltlostanddissotewithoutit.Butoherhandheytofindthatthelossofhisfleshbodydidterdestruofhimasay.Hehadachieved‘eterence’,whichishistrueself.Amildfeelingofhappinessrosefromthedepthofhisheart.Itwasafeelingquitedifferentfromtheventionaloresultedfromstarktrastwiththestimutionofgreatpain.ThemildfeelingofdelightinDimitri’sheartwasanaturalfeeling,owasbarelydisablebutwhichhehappeocatch.“WhyhaveIunknowinglyoverlookedsuchafeelinginalltheyearsIhavebeenalive?”Dimitriwondered.Suchmildfeelingofhappinessisaminuteoneimpossibletoexpressinwords.Allhislife,Dimitri’sfleshbodyhadsufferedallkindsofworriesaions.Theyedthemselvessotightlyaroundhim,somelightasspider’swebandotherstenaciousasfishihathewasuountanglehimself.Butnowinthisperfectworldfullhtnessandradianceallhistroubles,vexationsaersdisappearedwithoutatrathispureworldofunendinghappihiseterenceismyrealself.Sothereissuderfulstateofmindinthisworldofours!WhyhaveIneverknownofitsexistencebefore?It’sreallystupidofme!Perhapstroubleandsufferinghadhoodwinkedmyeyes.NowIfinallyuandthatthehappinessbroughtbypilingupmoneyandmaterialgoodsisheyarefalsebecausesuchfeelingwilldisappearwhenmoneyandmaterialgoodsdisappear,whi